Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts

Monday, January 31, 2011

Still waiting...

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Feeling just a little like this.

I am currently a congested mess of impatient hormones. Whilst waiting for this pokey, and apparently comfy, baby to arrive, I have come down with a truly glorious head cold, that, because I am pregnant, I can take absolutely nothing for. Well, Tylenol, I guess. Whee.

BUT, there was a bright spot in my weekend. My order from clothdiapermom was cheerfully delivered on Saturday evening! I am now the proud owner of a 24 diaper Bummis prefold kit, a Bottoms Up 25 reusable wipe kit, and seven just-too-adorable Happy Heinys Mini OS pocket diapers. I did the prewashes on my prefold diapers right away, and was diapering stuffed animals by Sunday afternoon, just to try and get the hang of it.

Because we did not switch to cloth diapers with Nik until he was over a year old, doing cloth with a new baby will still be a new thing to me. Once baby is born, and I get a routine down, I will be posting again on the prefolds and wipes kits. In the meantime, I will share some links for the interested.

A video from Bummis on how to use prefolds:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pVt7WfOyRE

A video I found on facebook showing the wipes kit (which is totally a cloth diapering luxury - love it!):
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1252250314770

And a link to a great review on the wipes, from a fellow blogger:
http://musingsfrommomschool.blogspot.com/2009/11/bottoms-up-baby-wipes-review.html

Also, stay tuned for photos of my new, stinkin' cute Mini HHs on that pokey baby, should he or she ever decide to make an appearance. ;-)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Everything we don't need

I have an uncle who is known for his unique way of expressing himself. He has a pseudonym for so many things, including his basement, (the bunker), his home (the shack), and his camper (the roll-away shack). One of my favourites among his phrases comes up when you ask him what he and his wife did on their vacation, or over the weekend. His recollection will often include. "Well, first, we went shopping for everything we don't need..."

My aunt is fond of telling people that when she was a girl, getting an apple was a real treat. They were poor prairie people, and often didn't have a working car. Getting into town to shop was difficult, and often the money only covered the basics of flour, rice and soap. There were certainly no credit cards, drive thrus or shopping malls.

Things have changed a lot in sixty years, and at the top of the list seems to be what people think they need. For example, do a search for 'baby needs' on the Internet, and you will probably find something like this:
  • Complete layette (including 5-10 onesies, 5-10 sleepers, socks, hats, footed pants)
  • Diapers and wipes (cloth or disposable), change pad
  • Diaper pail
  • Baby bathtub with baby towel, washcloths, shampoo, lotion and powder
  • Baby thermometer, nose bulb, nail clippers, hairbrush
  • Breast pump, pads, nipple cream and nursing bras or bottles, formula, sterilizer
  • Crib or bassinet, sheets, blankets
  • Car seat (with bunting bag in cold weather)
  • And more - Baby carrier, diaper bag, stroller, monitor, swing, soothers, bibs, mobile, bouncy seat, jolly jumper... The list can go on and on, and all this will be used in the first 6 months of life.
My oldest aunt was born early, and at home. They put her in a dresser drawer by the wood stove. Clothes, blankets and diapers would have been homemade. Everything else, they did without.

I am not pretending that they were so much better off in a drafty homestead on the harsh Canadian prairie than we are now. Certainly, I am not pining for a life with no money, no car and sometimes no food. And I am far from immune to the spirit of materialism! I have plenty of baby gadgets, and still new ones are catching my eye. My mind is full of thoughts like, "I know I have that fitted sling already, but those gorgeous Zolowear ring slings at the local store are on for half-price..." and "the Magic Bullet was great for Nik's baby food, but this Baby Bullet is truly awesome. I wonder if we could afford it..."

Still, I see the appeal of the 'less is more' mentality, and stories about my aunt in the dresser drawer help me to remember how much we already have. With a small family and a modest income, a move toward seeing the store in terms of 'everything we don't need' is a healthy change. I am trying to remember that the benefits of retail therapy are short-lived, while the negative effects can stick around for a long time. If we live beyond our means trying to fulfill the ideals of what we think we need, we will only leave a legacy of debt, and communicate to others that what we value in the end is things over all else. Not exactly what I want on my tombstone.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The money diet


I am one of those hateful individuals that has never had a weight problem. I don't crave desserts or sweets, I eat when I get hungry, I eat until I'm full, and my weight stays within a stable 5 pound range with no real effort at all. I even lost all the weight from my first pregnancy in a little over one year, without trying. I was wondering when all that would return to bite me in the butt...

The concepts of nutrition and weight gain have always seemed simple to me. People gain weight because they are consuming more calories than their body burns. If you want to stop gaining weight, you need to consume the same number of calories you burn. If you want to lose weight, you need to consume less calories than you burn, a strategy often referred to as 'dieting'.

While these concepts have seemed obvious to me when it came to eating, I can now see how I was totally oblivious to their application in the financial realm. We were gaining debt because we were spending more dollars than we had. To stop gaining debt, we have to spend the same amount of money that we have. And to lose that debt, we have to spend less than we make. We need to go on a money diet.

To bring the comparison further, it seems like there are basically two ways to lose weight: reduce the amount you eat, or increase the amount you move. Apply that thinking to finances, and you can see that there are two basic ways to eliminate debt, as well: reduce the amount you spend, or increase the amount you make. Suddenly, I have far more compassion for people who struggle with there weight. In theory, the strategies sound easy. In practice, they are hard. No wonder everyone is looking for a quick fix gimmick.

Increasing the amount we make is tricky, much like adding more exercise to someone's already busy schedule. We have found a few ways. My husband got a small salary increase at work, and has brought in some extra sales commissions. I worked a few extra hours at my job over the summer, as the opportunity came up.

But the real doable thing for us is decreasing the amount we spend, the dieting. The same willpower, the same feelings of deprivation affect us as any other dieter, as we try to cut back. Let me share my diet-inspired strategies with you.

Custom weight plan: Friends of mine have done WeightWatchers, and told me that the first thing you do upon joining is meet with the staff to determine your 'points'. You have a set number of points you can spend everyday, and you can't go over, just like a budget. To create our budget, we sat down, looked at all of our expenses, and set spending limits in each area, keeping the total of all the spending under the amount we take in every month.

Cut out junk: High calorie foods --> high interest loans. We traded in our credit card debt, with an annual interest rate of nearly 20% for a personal loan with a rate of 3.75%. It is like switching from sugar cookies to whole grain bread, only you feel liberated, instead of deprived.

Counting calories: We track all of our spending now. One spiral bound notebook for each of us, plus one for the car, were all we needed to invest in. We also added envelopes to the front of the notebooks to store receipts for the things we buy, allowing us to take a closer look at how we are spending our money at grocery and department stores.

Weighing in: Saturday mornings are finances time now. Our budget is in a computer spreadsheet, and we enter all of our actual spending once a week, and compare it to our limits in each area. We have split our budget limits into half-month periods, so we can see if we have spent most of a limit in the first week, there is not much left for the second one, and we adjust accordingly.

Plan ahead: People seem to eat the worst food when they are under-prepared and on the run, and that is when our worst spending happened, as well. Now, we are planning meals for a whole week, and going to the grocery store once to get what we need for them. We also leave enough time in our morning routines to put together take along lunches and snacks. If we go to a restaurant now, it is because we planned to and budgeted for it, not because there was nothing to eat, or we were too exhausted to figure out what to make for supper. We also pack snacks, drinks and toys whenever we go out, so that we are prepared for the day, and don't need to make any convenience purchases.

Avoid temptation: Successful dieters don't hang out in bakeries and fast food restaurants. We are avoiding stores when we can, shopping with lists when we can't, and leaving our credit cards at home. These strategies are adding up to far less impulse shopping, the donuts of the finance world.

Like extra pounds, the debt we have racked up is unattractive, and makes it harder for us to do the things we want to do in our lives. And, along with all the other committed dieters out there, we are looking forward to our 'After' photo.

Everything we need for a Saturday morning 'weigh in'

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Eek! Ack! or I hate money.

So, we finally asked for professional help with our whole debt and spending problem, and got the cold shower version of a reality check. I guess when you keep telling yourself it can't be that bad, it stings all the more when a stranger has to come out and say, "Yeah, it's that bad."

My husband and I are the clear product of disconnection from money. I don't have money, I have numbers. You can spend all the money you have, and then keep spending numbers, thanks (or no thanks) to credit cards, lines of credit and overdraft so-called protection at the bank. And we have spent numbers we don't have, more numbers than we bring in combined in a month, and that excludes respectable debts like car loans and our mortgage.

Ick. My parents are good with money. My siblings are all single, and doing well. Couples that I know who I am sure bring in less money per month than my husband and I do are replacing their fences and having laser eye surgery. We feel like the only ones trapped in the spiraling quicksand of debt.

Something has to change drastically if we hope to get out of this situation. In three years, my husband hopes to buy the business he is working in now, and we hope to get into a bigger, single family home. If we keep living the way we have been living, our reality-check professional told us that we will be lucky to keep the home we have, nevermind upgrade. Ouch.

I know that she's right. I hate that she's right. I was brought up with all the right rules: Pay off your credit cards every month. Count your pennies and your dollars will look after themselves. Money can only be spent once. I know these things are true, and that frugal is the way to go, but something gets lost in translation. And when you've moved to Spending-Justification-Land, it is really hard to muster up your courage and return to Reality-land. Consider it mustered.

Goodbye credit cards. Hello tight budget. I am looking to make good friends with meal planning, and to break off connections with the pizza delivery guy. We'll cancel our cable, and make better use of our movie collection. And I am making a long list of all the fun things we can do for free. With summer coming, the list should get pretty long without too much effort. Hooray for hiking, wading pools and the beach! Hooray for the library, and gift museum memberships! Hooray for a house already full of video games, craft supplies, movies and toys!

Maybe this massive cut back will help me realize how rich we are, instead of how poor. At the very least, it will adjust my perspective to living a way we can actually afford to live. Wish us luck! I'll keep you posted.

Friday, February 12, 2010

From mall to museum

Checking out flyers on a Sunday morning.

I like to go shopping. I like nearly everything about it. I like looking through the flyers, and driving to the store, and finding the good parking spot, and browsing, and choosing, and having something new. I like to be out with people, with the busyness of a crowd. I like stopping off at one store, and then another. I like the food court.

To my detriment, my husband also likes these things. He also likes looking at things we can't afford, and redesigning our home and wardrobes, and the vacations we take... So, between the two of us, we can create quite a little bit of a financial mess. Being neither ignorant of this fact nor completely irresponsible in our reaction to it, we have tried to make adjustments. My mall-walking has turned to thrift-store hopping, and my shopping habit, while down-scaled, lives on.

I recently read Denise Roy's Momfulness. While there were many parts that I enjoyed, that made me laugh, or that made me go, "hmm...", one part in particular stands out in my mind. Roy tells her readers about a monk being interviewed about his move from Eastern or Western culture. He says that in his country of origin, everything is organized around spirituality and prayer. There are rituals and routines in the lifestyle that support the pursuit of spirituality. Then he is asked about life in his new Western country home and says, "It is hard to live in a society that is organized around shopping."

Organized around shopping... Hardly the motto for an enriching existence, and yet, I see my own lifestyle too much reflected in that statement. I dream over things I find on the internet, I know all the good brands, I read the flyers, I watch the sales, I wait for the next paycheque... But a life organized around shopping isn't what I am setting out to acheive. It certainly isn't the life I want to model for my son, and yet, how many hours has he spent in the stroller or a shopping cart, along on one of my not-too-necessary shopping trips?

The new year has recently begun, and spring is just around the corner. In the spirit of this season of renewal, I am aiming to add more shopping-free outings to our repetoire, and we have done not too badly in the last few weeks. We have continued our once-a-week visits to the local library, and have started taking in the storytime for 2 year olds. Nik recieved memberships to 2 local museums for Christmas, and we have used them each once, so far. This past weekend, we took part in the annual Festival du Voyageur, an outdoor event featuring beautiful snow sculptures, that celebrates Franco-Manitoban history and culture.

It is like detox, though, this fighting the urge to shop. When I dropped off a thrift store donation early last week, I still just HAD to go in and look around. $15 and an armful of stuff later... I am not exactly a beacon of self-control. I try to remind myself of the many reasons there are to hate shopping, first among them being those annoying credit card bill deadlines. I also do not want to be sucked into a lifestyle defined by materialism, determining my worth by the things that I buy.

So, I will keep reminding myself to change our outing destinations from mall to museum, from book store to library, from coffee shop to park. And the flyers are going directly into the recycle bin for a while. No sense tempting fate.


Checking out fossils on a Saturday morning.
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